Slimy Machines

Hi, Greasy Graham here! I heard you needed some help constructing a car? Or maybe even a tank? During the war, my grandfather learned how to drive in a tank. True story!

I would offer you my words of wisdom in-game, but Scene2D scares the bejesus out of me!

Rectangles

Rectangles may be the simplest shape known to man, but they're still a pain to create for a simpleton such as yourself-- I mean Yusef! Yes, my old buddy Yusef is such a simpleton! You, my guy, are the brightest crayon in the box.

• Scroll vertically to make your rectangle taller. Shift and Ctrl make it resize faster and slower.
• Scroll horizontally (hold Alt if you don't have a way of doing this) to make it wider. Shift and Ctrl make it resize faster and slower.
• Rotate your rectangle anti-clockwise by holding down the left mouse button, and clockwise by holding down the right. Shift and Ctrl make it rotate faster and slower.
• Drag your rectangle whilst holding the scroll wheel button to drag it around. Don't have a scroll wheel, gramps? Not to fret - just hold down the S key and drag with your left moue button. The S is for Scroll, to remind you of your lack of a scroll wheel.
• Delete your rectangle by pressing the Del key on your keyboard whilst hovering over it (all this did was crash the game so I disabled it).
• You cannot choose the colour of your rectangle. Perhaps you'll get lucky if you keep creating new rectangles.
• The whole deal with modifying rectangles is very broken. If you're stuck with a rectangle, you might have to refresh the page and start all over.

Wheels

Wheels are very important. How do you expect to make a vehicle without wheels?! Well you won't be making a vehicle at all, because I don't have any wheels! Yeah, I know, that's wheely bad news!

Joint

Don't you wish you could join things together so they don't fall apart? You could construct spinning blades of doom and all sorts! Well, that's too bad, because my joints hurt, so no joints for you.

Hose

Woo woo woo! I'm a fire engine! Haaa, just kidding. I'm not really a fire engine. But I did once have quite the incident with fire!

See, I was working on someone's car, and I pondered if fuel was flammable. Next thing I know, the whole building and a family of five were turned to ash!

Thanks to my quick thinking, I was able to run to the fire exit and escape with no lasting injuries. Lucky for me, I didn't have to go to work the following day!

If I had any hoses, maybe things would have gone better that day. I still don't have any hoses, so you can't add them to your vehicle.

Sticker

Stickers are cool. Except when you try to peel them off and they leave that residue behind. No matter how hard you try, you can never get it off. Someone once tried to sell me "sticky stuff remover", but I said NO!

Anyway, I don't have any stickers in stock yet.

Testing your vehicle

To test your vehicle, simply press the button in the top-left of the screen. You can toggle between the edit and test screens using the Tab key!

There are no controls while testing your vehicle, as described in the lore you definitely read upon booting up the game.

Also, there is no vehicle.

Settings

Settings? Look, chum. We don't do settings around here. Time constraints, you see.

If you want the game to hush, the easiest way is to right-click this tab at the top of your browser window and hope your browser has an option to mute it.

Or, if you want finer control over the game volume:

There's also that handy-pandy full screen button itch.io added to the game. Yes, it actually works!

If I list unused assets here, I won't have to find their links again if I ever do use them.